The Gay Manifesto
- williambutler6
- Oct 2, 2025
- 4 min read
Wasson,
As weeks go this is proving to be a pretty wank one! Covid has come for me with a ferocity that has left me feeling completely dull and utterly exhausted. Today has actually been the first day so far that I haven’t felt the need to nap. I’ve spent much of this week akin to little Nemo exploring Slumberland. Unlike Nemo however I’ve not spent my time on surrealist adventures with racist caricatures but on a path to reconciliation with a cast of long-lost fuckers.
I’ve spent my time with long since forgotten men I had once seldom loved but often lusted. Now, here in my bed in something of a county wide nunnery, my sex life is at home in history books. Perhaps even mythological books! Despite my churning stomach and legs that ache as if the blood that pumps through them has turned viscous I’ve found myself wondering to my own private garden. I now finally now what the garden means to me!
Defining ‘The Garden’
The Garden is a place that cannot exist. Here not only inhibition but the structures that produce inhibition are not present. The social and capitalistic structures that infect our lives so thoroughly here simply don’t exist there. No racism, no misogyny, no heteronormativity, no wealth and no poverty. Communism that blooms. With this there is lack of inhibition. What makes this experience so completely untruthful is the exultation of the self. The garden can only accommodate, here in the real world, one person’s whim, fantasy and reality. Yet The Garden in its practice is profoundly democratic. All whim, all fantasy, all reality converging into one harmonious symphony as opposed to contradictory or exploitative experiences. What is central to this is that it is one singular narrative composed of numerous stories. In essence, a thousand roses result in one garden.
When I talk about ‘the exultation of the self’ I mean how our desires would be felt universally in The Garden. An example of what I mean lives in one dream I’ve had this week in which I found myself walking along with a man I had at one time been completely infatuated with. I ran across the road to talk to him in the hopes we would quite quickly find ourselves in either one of our beds. As we were chatting, walking along a road that seemed to merge a kaleidoscope of geographies, he tells me how he’s in a new relationship. Even in the dream I felt my heart drop. We awkwardly make our way up a steep hill, him first whilst I hold back - almost as if ready to sprint off in the other direction, he turns to me to say that they are ‘open.’ Opportunity blooms once more! Either I’ve forgotten what happened next or I woke up but I’m sure we can throw in some guesses as to what WOULD have happened. I state this because it’s a prime example of why The Garden cannot exist. This is a reality where we are mutually in control. In the real world there’s always one left watching at the orgy. Always one who’s seen as ‘easy.’ Not here though. Everyone benefits here.
But The Garden as I understand it is about more than just sex. To be devoid of these structures I’ve outlined above would in essence point to a direction far more than just the economic or physical. The Garden is freedom. Nina Simone famously said that what freedom means to her is to have “really, no fear.” Perhaps more than an almost hive mind in the garden, which allows for community wide consensual sex, is the abandonment of the fear of rejection. Queer people develop and move through the world with fear embedded in them – it would be interesting to explore what to be free of this ideology would manifest for them. More than just my definitions of The Garden – what does the garden mean to you? I’m interested in developing almost a manifesto.
(YOUTUBE video of singer Nina Simone desrcibing what freedom means to her.)
As such,
THE GARDEN
1. The Garden does not and cannot exist.
2. Fear does not exist in The Garden.
I’m excited to develop this manifesto further!
Finding The Garden
Admittedly, my reading has taken quite a hefty pause this week which whilst annoying I am willing to overlook. However, I have rediscovered two gardens I am desperate to go and see – The Italian Garden and the gardens at Hotel Endsleigh, both situated in Devon and about an hours drive away. Whilst Hotel Endsleigh is more of a private side passion – The Italian Garden has a rich queer history. Whilst I won’t recite its history here (at least not in this post as I plan on more thoroughly delving into this important garden later down the line) it is certainly a priority of mine to visit.
What troubles me is abandoning Jarman. I do still truly want this to link to his work and his life. I shall endeavour to conduct more academic research into Jarman so as to ensure I maintain, adopt and develop my own points to use.
Further still, I must continue to challenge how I want this essay to manifest. I am not the least bit interested in conducting asinine interviews which ultimately play as inconsequential to the final piece.
I’m struggling to stay motivated whilst balancing work and this private endeavour and I’m determined to carve out time more meaningfully for this project outside of fever induced dreams about exes!
At any rate, much to think about!
